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Searching for Community

When we became Catholic a few years ago (blog post here) we knew that we were leaving a loving, deeply connected community of friends. We were willing to do that to follow Christ; but there’s no sugarcoating the fact that the type of churches we came out of has a much stronger fellowship, and of course we have missed that.

Doing life together - families whose kids grow up together, meeting up regularly and being each other’s social circle, practical and emotional support, deep friendship. This is life in the type of church we were part of.

 D’s First Holy Communion - in our old parish



The Catholic Church is pretty much as expected; while we have certainly met lovely people, there is no understanding of fellowship the way we mean it. On Sunday, after church there will be coffee and friendly conversation - and then everyone goes home. There’s midweek Masses of course, but those are about meeting with Jesus and not with each other. Fellowship meetings, small home groups, are unheard of.

In the parish we attended since converting, over 200 people would attend on Sunday but there was a mere handful who we would get to speak to over coffee; one family converted at the same time as us and from a similar background, so we struck up a friendship (which I hope and trust will continue despite our changing parish) - but that was it. The kids would play with other kids after Mass on Sunday, and not see those kids again until the next Sunday.

It’s been four years; and as the kids approach their teenage years (now 10 and 8), I’m acutely conscious that they will look for a community of peers to feel part of. And we didn’t have that.

I’m not saying we are isolated - we’re not, our social life is busy and we love being active members of the Bristol Christian Home Ed community… but we’re the only Catholics there. How can we offer our kids the opportunity to see the faith lived out authentically, by their friends and peers rather than just by their parents? 

As we considered this, and prayed about it, our contact at the Cathedral came to mind - we’ve been serving at Mercy Lunches there for years, ever since this was the only place that would accept the kids volunteering! (due to their age, other places wouldn’t, even though I’d remain with them). The first time we served there was at a Christmas Day lunch, and after that, Deacon Robert would always email to ask if we could come help at upcoming Mercy Lunches, which are held every couple of months. It became a fixture for us, but we had never attended Mass at the Cathedral.

I reached out to Robert with my concerns about fellowship at my parish, asking if there was more of it at the Cathedral. His response was that he had very much been working on a youth group idea but didn’t know if there’d be interest or support for it! So I met up with him and we talked through it… and well, the long and short of it is that I feel we can very much support this vision, pull up our sleeves and get stuck in building something there - with the Deacon’s support and leadership, together with the larger and more diverse parish community that is at the Cathedral - so we moved.

If there isn’t community, maybe we can help build it! That’s an exciting prospect, and will take time, but the key I feel is commitment from the leadership and enough people to build with. There’s already a children’s choir, so the kids are getting into that (I have always loved singing in choirs and both kids are very musical), and the current altar servers group will become a youth group open to all, meeting fortnightly for pizza, fun and a bit of formation. We’ll be there, helping, and another family we’re friends with have already committed to the same, as they have the same vision.

So - change has happened. It’s not all roses; D(8) in particular simply doesn’t like change, of any kind. But this is where I can see them knitting in, growing up, being part of. I have hope. Deo Gratias!
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