Home Ed Questions: but how will they ever learn to read and write?

This is Part 2 of Home Ed Questions - the FAQ's of the trade, so to speak, which I hear a lot. Here's Part 1 - What about socialisation?

In this one, I'd like to focus on literacy. The widespread assumption is that school is necessary for children to learn to read and write, so if they don't go to school, how can they possibly become literate? 

Now, I do actually know how literacy is taught in schools: during the lockdown, I supported a PGCE student (learning how to be a primary school teacher) for two years and I saw how they are taught to teach both language and maths. I'm a grown-up with a Master's and postgrad education and I have sat through my fair share of boring lectures, but in those classes I was losing the will to live! Watching language being dissected, broken into unrecognisable pieces called graphemes and phonemes, and then put together again. Phonics is clearly the product of a scientific / mathematical mind, attempting to do to language what can only be done in science: break it down into small pieces, which you can then use to build new things. The problem is, language is alive, it's organic, it's art; where mathematics is clear and structured and 2+2 will always be 4 without exception, language is made of exceptions and different ideas and influences. 

[rant over, back to the topic]

A reader - for fun

So, how can children learn language without first taking it apart and systematically putting phonemes and graphemes together in their daily phonics classes?

The answer in one word: organically. 

At the library

I didn't teach them how to walk by putting one foot in front of the other, or worse, doing heel-to-toe exercises or some such: they learned by first watching, then trying and experimenting. I didn't teach them to talk by going through the alphabet or enunciation lessons: they watched us talk, and started to babble and experiment and play with language.

That's the key. We live in a literate society, there are books everywhere and things to read wherever you go. We read to our kids a lot, we buy them books, we visit the library. And just as they watched us walk and talk and, when they were ready, imitated us... they are doing the same with literacy.

It wasn't, and isn't, a predictable or linear journey. N(9) didn't start really reading until less than a year ago, but that's not to say that she didn't engage with literacy. On the contrary - she started illustrating her own books years ago, at first getting me to do the writing and then creating full books on her own, both writing and illustrating them. She's done so many over the years!

Of course, her spelling was atrocious at first. How could it not be - she wasn't reading! So she would spell words the way she thought they sounded, which often resulted in hilarity and meant that you really had to read the words out loud to understand them. I asked her when she was about six, whether she'd like me to go through and correct her spelling, and she said no thank you. I left it there. Why? Because she was enjoying the process, she was playing and experimenting and the last thing I wanted to do was make it a chore. She continued making books with much joy and creativity, and little idea of how to spell things.

Page from a book from a few years ago...
(Translation: Then we saw a dog, yikes!)

... and a more recent example

N has always worked through her experiences in books and pictures - when we travel, she always keeps a travel diary, and any big experiences invariably work their way into one of her books. It's fascinating to see, a real insight into her world. 

Would she continue to do this if I insisted on perfect spelling, cursive writing and punctuation? Would it be fun? I think not.

I recently read the sad statistic that less than 20% of adults read for enjoyment these days. Where did the joy go? Who took it away? Most of these adults can read reasonably well (though not all; a friend often mentioned to me how her Waldorf-educated ex-boyfriend could not read or write at all) but they perceive it as a utility, not something to relax with.

By keeping myself out of N's process - and I'm writing exclusively about N here, you may notice I haven't even mentioned D(8) yet! - she gets to play with, try, experiment with, and enjoy language organically, as it is. That works for her.

N likes to read to D, but he's reading along too

Now, D is a very different character. He might actually get on okay with the way language is taught in school (although there's very little else about school that he would get on with!) because he has an analytic, scientific, literal mind. That said, the fact that language basically consists of exceptions would frustrate him no end.

He's the guy that asks why things work the way they do. Why does present tense read not sound the same as past tense read even though it's spelled the same? Why can't you write red instead? There aren't any logical answers to this because, again, this isn't a mathematical problem. It is what it is. He's getting there too - in his own time, and unhurried.

Who agreed that age 4/5/6/whatever is when children must start learning to read? And what happens if they don't? At school, what happens is that they feel stupid and get left behind. In our world, nothing happens, life and learning just goes on... and when they're ready to pick up literacy, they do it in a flash rather than painful years of pushing through, they enjoy it and play with it - and if our aim is to form lifelong learners who love exploring the world, then that is certainly the way to go for us.