Will Dig Life

In case you hadn't figured this out already, I am not posting here as a parenting expert. I'm posting as a parent who learns on the job! And I'm posting what I'm learning, how I deal with things, at least in part so that my own children can look back on these writings and see what I was trying to do and why. When my kids were little, I learned a very useful thing from Jean Liedloff's 1970's book  The Continuum Concept (which I would recommend as the only book a new parent needs to read, it contains all you need until at least the toddler years), which was, to let my children be. To not push them, prod them, entertain them, monopolise their attention. Charlotte Mason has a good phrase for this: "Masterly Inactivity" : the idea that I am around, so there is no need for the child to worry, but I am not the main show.  They're amazing at teamwork! So at playgroups for example, I would sit on the side with my coffee and chat with other mothers, or read...

There was a writing group topic recently that really got me thinking. It was about " tough love ", a term I find can be a bit problematic because it's just another term for punishment. The way I see it, love has nothing to do with punishment but it can have a lot to do with holding a boundary : a healthy boundary. A sustainable boundary.  I grew up largely without boundaries. My father, at least while I was little and before he fully succumbed to drinking at all times, subscribed to a parenting philosophy I can only describe as unparenting - that is, simply allowing everything. "Don't fence the child in, let her develop without constraints!"... every time my mother attempted to correct or discipline me, he would either stop her or undermine her afterwards to undo it. She eventually gave up trying. As a result, I was a truly unlikeable child who had no idea of what was and wasn't appropriate, who thought of myself as an equal to the adults around, who exp...

We love summer! My favourite time of year, by far - I'd much rather be hot than cold. And the days are longer, the sun is out, what's not to love? Our garden is still very much a work in progress, but we've plonked a huge paddling pool into it because priorities. It's been getting good use too! Have I been in it, you ask? - well no, dear reader, it has to get quite a bit hotter before I feel the need to cool down!