A big, big milestone - sleeping arrangements

Something beautiful happened this week. I want to share about it in the hope that it will encourage those of you with little ones. I remember the insecurity and constant questioning about my choices, so perhaps this will encourage someone to just go with your instincts and ignore the "experts" 😉

We have never made our children sleep alone. As parents around us talked about crying it out (telling me that sooner or later we'd HAVE to do it and the older they got the harder it would be!), some parents we know even locked the toddler's door or blocked it with a broomstick to stop them getting out (!!) ... yet for my part, I just savoured the closeness. Over the years we've had various arrangements; when my D was born 19 months after N, I had to night wean N fairly abruptly and so she slept with her daddy in one bed for a year or so, while I slept with the baby in another room. Later, we had a king size floor bed where I would sleep in between the two kids. Mr enjoyed a king size bed all to himself meanwhile.

The kids are now 6.5 and nearly 5. N(6) decided she wants a loft bed, having seen one at a friend's, and I told her she needed to be able to sleep without me as I couldn't get up there. She insisted she could do it, so we took the plunge and replaced the floor bed with a loft bed that has a double bed underneath.

For two nights now, she has slept at the top, with D(4) and me on the double bed below. It was easy, natural and loving. There was no separation, no anxiety, N went to sleep and stayed asleep all night and woke up happy. It's beautiful. Meanwhile D is thinking about sleeping without me too, but can't quite do it yet; he sends me to sleep in my bedroom, then gets scared and comes to get me. It's ok. There's no hurry.

Deep down I'm kind of melancholic about it all... I truly savoured the cuddles, it'll never be like that again... they are growing up. It's good. I need to let them. But my heart needs a bit of time to adjust.

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