Lent 2021: Reflections on Self-Worth

These questions come from Rachel Macy Stafford's Soul Shift Lift course.

Reflection Prompts:

How do you measure your self-worth? How do you define success? Do you feel a shift is needed in either area?

I used to, and easily still fall into, measuring my worth in terms of my competence. Knowing stuff, being able to do stuff. This, together with efficiency. Helpful values in the workplace, sure, but not helpful in child rearing because in my quest for getting stuff done, I can lose sight of nurturing and connection.

My children don't care how well or how quickly I do things. They want to get involved in whatever I'm doing, and because this tends to slow me down, my default reaction is to try and redirect them. Go play! Those words come out of my mouth quite a lot. I don't play, you see: I tell them to play. Luckily, they are close in age and love so they do play together a lot... but I feel I should make more of an effort to do things that don't accomplish anything - that is, to play.

How might you alter your current standards to be less superficial and more focused on what really matters in life? Is your inner critic more vocal when you are in certain situations or around particular people?

Lockdown has definitely helped me slow down. Before this, we were out every day, often more than once: doing things, meeting people, busy busy busy. This required organisation, and I was good at that. Staying home all day long, I was not good at that - and lockdown has been a patient teacher. I was a slow learner, and through this past year I've gone through a number of stages in learning to deal with this staying at home business. I'm getting better at seeing the value of it, and the value of slow togetherness. I can certainly be tempted by all kinds of "fun activities" for the kids (particularly when those activities don't require my active participation, where I can sit with a cuppa and chat with other parents!) and that has been taken out. It'll be my challenge to consciously edit our social calendar to maximise not only value to the kids, but also to us as a family unit, once that becomes a possibility again.

What changes might you make to minimize your exposure to those situations or people?

I don't really have any people in my life who criticise or who make me question my family commitments - thank God.

Comments

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