Communication with my children

I came across an interesting quote that I've been pondering a while now, about communication. With kids aged 6 and 4, and both very articulate, sometimes it is the content of their communication that I can be tempted to... well, either to rush, or to tune out, or to ignore... I mean, the things they are interested in and are telling me about are, to put it frankly, just not my interests. What so and so character did on this cartoon show. Jokes that make no sense. 

But my interest and engagement with their communication at this stage, I am so aware, is what opens or closes the door to communication later on. If they know they can talk to me and I will listen, and really listen rather than just sit there and wait until they're finished (or worse, wait until they've finished talking so I can get my point in that I've been spinning around my head as they talked!), then maybe - hopefully - they will remember this as they grow up and their interests and issues become more consequential. 

 "Good communication requires effort to understand each other." 

With my children right now, this is one-sided. I am the adult in the relationship, and it is my responsibility to make the effort to understand them. To truly engage. 

Today I've had a very hard day with D(4), because he is having the hardest time with clothes: they feel terrible to him. I cling to the motto, "They're not GIVING you a hard time, they are HAVING a hard time." - and he truly is. 

While it's worn me down to have to try yet another pair of socks, different trousers, stop him from pulling his jumper off and offer another solution... to him, this day has been HARD. Everything I tried to get him to wear has felt awful to him, but he equally hates feeling cold. He chose the clothes he liked, but then they felt terrible to him and he could only scream "Get it off!". 

It takes effort on my part to try and understand what it's like for him, and how hard this is. In the evening, after all those struggles, he fell over a piece of cardboard and into the jigsaw I was doing with N(6) and I was annoyed with him, and he just broke down in tears. He'd had annoyed mama all day long, on top of having these terribly irritating clothes. It was just too much. I can only try harder tomorrow to love and be patient and understand.

"Communication is an act of love, to find a common frequency and vibrate in harmony"

The fact that my children WANT to communicate with me, whether I'm interested or not, is a privilege because the reason is love. They love me. They want me. They want my involvement in everything. 

This won't last forever and I know I can take this or miss it, now. I don't want to miss it. It's easy right now to find a frequency of harmony - they want me, there is no friction if I align myself with that love. That is my responsibility, and my challenge. 

Having children is really teaching me about letting go of what I want, what I might need. I can take care of myself later. The most important thing is service. I will be taken care of - because I have God fulfilling my deepest needs, I am taken care of there and I have the capacity to give, give, give. I never used to give. I never used to put my needs last. Now I'm learning to.