Lent 2021: A Practice of Presence

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Reflection Questions - this is from Rachel Macy Stafford's Soul Shift Lift Course. This is soul-searching stuff that I really want to preserve for my children, for them to read when they grow up. Perhaps these questions and my honest answers will also encourage other mums who are looking to get closer to living fully present to their families.


What parts of life do you not want to miss? 

My children's childhood... there's a German saying, Dein Alltag ist ihre Kindheit: your everyday is their childhood. I don't want to miss their childhood because I'm wrapped up in my tasks, my mental schedule, me me me me me - I want to be genuinely there, fully present not just in body but in mind as well.

Do you put off spending time with loved ones or delay doing things you enjoy until certain duties are complete and you have “more time”? Does that ideal moment ever arrive? 

Totally. And there's always more to be done. Mundane things - cleaning, cooking, checking emails. Sometimes I genuinely have to work, and that isn't wrong... what's wrong is that I prioritise things that are not important but urgent, over the important but not urgent ones. That classic business matrix. I'm in the wrong square most of the time.

But it's not just urgency - it's also ease. Playing, doing child things just doesn't come easily to me. Mr. is very good at silly play, rough housing the kids, being present with them where they are - for me, that is not easy. I get sidetracked, I feel like I don't know what to do, I haven't a clue how to play without taking over and I don't want to take over either because that's cumbersome. 

What daily or weekly rituals are special to your family? What actions will you take this week to protect these rituals or begin new ones? 

Our lives are full of routines and daily rituals at the moment - I'm finding this question hard because with the current lockdown situation, we do see each other at all times and we have a really good routine of life that works for us. It's not the structure that is failing... I just feel I should / could be more present in it. 

What do you hope to discover or experience this week as you begin your Practice of Presence?

A way to feel at ease just being, and enjoying my kids on their own terms. Getting into their world, by being truly present.

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