Will Dig Life

These questions come from Rachel Macy Stafford's Soul Shift Lift course. Reflection Prompts:  How do you measure your self-worth? How do you define success? Do you feel a shift is needed in either area?   I used to, and easily still fall into, measuring my worth in terms of my competence . Knowing stuff, being able to do stuff. This, together with efficiency . Helpful values in the workplace, sure, but not helpful in child rearing because in my quest for getting stuff done, I can lose sight of nurturing and connection.  My children don't care how well or how quickly I do things. They want to get involved in whatever I'm doing, and because this tends to slow me down, my default reaction is to try and redirect them. Go play! Those words come out of my mouth quite a lot. I don't play, you see: I tell them to play. Luckily, they are close in age and love so they do play together a lot... but I feel I should make more of an effort to do things that don't accomplish anyt...

I came across an interesting quote that I've been pondering a while now, about communication. With kids aged 6 and 4, and both very articulate, sometimes it is the content of their communication that I can be tempted to... well, either to rush, or to tune out, or to ignore... I mean, the things they are interested in and are telling me about are, to put it frankly, just not my interests. What so and so character did on this cartoon show. Jokes that make no sense.  But my interest and engagement with their communication at this stage, I am so aware, is what opens or closes the door to communication later on. If they know they can talk to me and I will listen, and really listen rather than just sit there and wait until they're finished (or worse, wait until they've finished talking so I can get my point in that I've been spinning around my head as they talked!), then maybe - hopefully - they will remember this as they grow up and their interests and issues become more con...

Continuing my Lenten journey into deeper, more conscious, and more intentional connection with my children, I'm writing through the journalling prompts given by Rachel Macy Stafford's Soul Shift Lift course . What small moments in the daily routine are you using to engage in human connection instead of distraction? What positive differences are you seeing?   I try to be available by holding my tasks lightly, and looking at how urgent vs. important the thing I'm doing right now is. I'm by nature a task focused person, rather than people focused, so it's easy for me to feel like I just want to get whatever it is done and then attend to whoever wants my attention; but instead, I have stopped midway through loading the dishwasher or halfway through filling up the washing machine to allow a small person to help me with that, or left it altogether to be with them.  This isn't easy for me. But when a child has come to me, this week, with something they wanted me to do,...

 I realise that I can get a bit too harsh on myself. Only I know what's going on in my head, and it's so easy to criticise that... whereas others only see my actions , and they make up their view of me based on those. What people think of me often surprises me, in a good way - I never expect anyone to think highly of me!  When I saw this little quiz on Facebook, I thought, let's have a go with the kids, it could be funny. They both answered and both blew me away - how radically differently do they see me to how I think I am with them! The Questionnaire WITHOUT any prompting, ask your child these questions & write down EXACTLY what they say. It's a great & funny way to find out exactly what they think.  Childs Name: N and D Age: 6 & 4 What is something Mummy always says to you? N: Be careful D: Don't go into a cave with a lion  (?) What makes Mummy happy? Both: CUDDLES with us!! (true!) What makes Mummy sad? Both: When we fight (also true) How does Mummy ...

Reflection Questions - this is from Rachel Macy Stafford's Soul Shift Lift Course . This is soul-searching stuff that I really want to preserve for my children, for them to read when they grow up. Perhaps these questions and my honest answers will also encourage other mums who are looking to get closer to living fully present to their families. What parts of life do you not want to miss?   My children's childhood... there's a German saying, Dein Alltag ist ihre Kindheit: your everyday is their childhood. I don't want to miss their childhood because I'm wrapped up in my tasks, my mental schedule, me me me me me - I want to be genuinely there, fully present not just in body but in mind as well. Do you put off spending time with loved ones or delay doing things you enjoy until certain duties are complete and you have “more time”? Does that ideal moment ever arrive?   Totally. And there's always more to be done. Mundane things - cleaning, cooking, checking emails. S...

At this time last year, I had big plans for a screen-free Lent . That got adjusted  pretty quickly when Covid hit, and we entered a whole different season - at the time being told it would be two weeks only, although I believed it would be at least a few months (ha!)... this year I feel completely differently about Lent. I'm not excitedly thinking about how I can get rid of distractions to focus more completely on Jesus. Why? Because really, after a year of it, I'm pretty done with the removal of distractions. They've been thoroughly removed, thanks very much. But have they? Externally, yes, they most certainly have. So my challenge for this Lent is an internal one. We are not restricting our lives any further, there's enough of that - but perhaps we haven't been using that time as well as we could have done. And there's no better time to start than now, or rather, Lent. If this year of isolation has taught me anything, it's that I can distract myself from J...

At this time last year, I had resolved (or at least I had an ambition) to try and stay at home one day a week, because our life had been so focused on activities and socialising and being out and about, I felt a quiet and slow day a week would be beneficial. I had no idea how to do it though - from my own baby days really, I had never spent a full day at home except when sick. Days at home felt like wasting life, missing out.  And then came 2020 - a lesson in staying at home. The Great Pause. And I'm only just learning to truly be at home... a year on! Last year's lockdown started just as the weather began to improve, so we enjoyed walks, exploring our local area - and didn't stay home that much really. It still was a huge adjustment for us all, but it's only now, in the mid-winter of early 2021, that I am truly at peace with being in the house all day long. It's cold and even when the sun is shining, the kids and me just don't feel like being outside all that ...