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Party bags and the refusal of social pressure with kids

Little D turned 3 and had a party.

The same party, at the same place (our garden), with largely the same people plus some new friends, as he's had for every birthday of his life... I think that's kind of cool. It started when he turned one in our new house, with us using the occasion to invite our new friends over for the first BBQ of the year - and it's pretty similar now. It's the first BBQ of the season for our family friends, as D enjoys playing with the kids we're calling that his party. Of course I make him a birthday cake and we have a moment with candles and singing happy birthday, but that's as far as organised kids entertainment goes.

D happily exhausted
after his big day
He loved it. There was one moment when he reclined in a camping chair with a plate of food on his lap, and he looked like the cat that got the milk: utterly, happily satisfied. I asked him then, are you having a happy birthday? And he just beamed with happiness.
  • There were no children's entertainers. 
  • There were no organised games. 
  • We didn't pay for the venue. 
  • There were no party bags. 
  • There was no pinata.
  • I asked for second hand gifts if people wanted to bring anything. Our two gifts to him were both second hand purchases. 

Out of all these, the party bags were probably the hardest decision to make because they have somehow become the expected thing. I can't think of any children's party I've been to that didn't have them... and it's exactly that kind of social pressure that doesn't sit well with me.

Peer pressure has always annoyed me, for good or ill... when I come across something that's expected just because something is "done" I tend to question it. And party bags add an extra dimension of hassle to mums organising kids parties, apart from usually being full of briefly used plastic gimmicks that soon end up in landfill. Mums who are already under pressure to spend serious money (cake smash for a 1 year old, anyone?) and hold ever more elaborate parties for ever less appreciative children.

I choose to do it differently, and my kids are happy.

Maybe, hopefully, my refusal will enable another mum to just say no, too.
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Comments

  1. Unknown27 May 2019 at 18:36

    Wonderful Far too much social pressure for Mums to keep up with what's expected. Even to how good a Mum you are being by the activities/sports etc you enroll your kid for. Didn't have that when my three were little.

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