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Towards a more intentional discipling relationship

This afternoon with Sally Clarkson, who came to speak to local home educating mums, has been affirming as much as it's been challenging.

I have known about Sally for a while, but I must admit I struggled with her writing style so never really got into the two books of hers that I bought. Everything I heard about what she was saying seemed so good and I really wanted to read those books, but somehow the style was just too much of a barrier. 

So I figured hearing her speak in person should be better, and oh my goodness. I connected with her immediately. This woman has so much wisdom of experience in the grace based approach to parenting that I aspire to - and as her kids are now adults it's incredibly encouraging to see the fruit of that approach. 

Affirming: because she's walked the road I hope to walk, has built up strong children who love God and are out to change the world; challenging, because I feel God has used her to tell me it's time to change gears. 

Let me try and explain. 

I have read a number of parenting books, Christian and secular. Because I usually look at reviews first I've not read truly bad advice (a la Tripp, Babywise and the like) so every book has been in some way helpful. 

One of the books I most took to heart was The Continuum Concept. Not a Christian book; this was written in the 70's by someone who spent time with indigenous tribes in South America, and wrote about how they brought up their children - with lots of physical contact, trust, and a collaborative attitude (expecting the child to want to cooperate). This all rang true, and still does, and I've leaned heavily on the concepts from this book in my parenting so far.

The book advocates very strongly that adults should not revolve around children, rather the children should be included in whatever the adults are doing. I do believe that too. 

But I think that while babies are the same everywhere and should all be treated the way they are designed to be treated (keep them close at all times, breastfeed etc), the way this works out with older children is different in a tribal village, and difficult to do in our environment. My kids aren't out roaming the safety of the village all day with different age kids and adults who take responsibility to look after all the kids; they are with me. I am with them.

And they are not babies any more.

My relationship with them has naturally evolved of course, but it's time to shift that gear intentionally and move towards more than just being with them and giving them opportunities to play... it's time to start truly talking deeply with them, intentionally discipling them every day.

How exactly that works out is to be seen, hopefully I'll get to write another blog post as I figure out how the next phase might look. Today I'm just challenged... thinking and praying. 


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