Will Dig Life

As so many people have asked me, I've decided to write about my experience giving birth. Before I went through it myself, I read about it, took an NCT course with my Mr., and asked friends about their experiences. All of which was helpful, and did help prepare me, but on the day so much went differently and the reality looked and felt unlike anything I'd imagined - especially my fears, which loomed very large on the evening before: they came true (I was induced by drip) yet the fear turned out to have been worse than the reality. Our brand new daughter 20 hours old This post will be long, and it will be honest.  If you wish, stick with me; if you just want the gist of it, here goes: I was induced at 38 weeks and 5 days, after unsuccessful membrane sweep and prostaglandin gel the method was the syntocinon drip. From the start of established labour (3 hours after drip start) to birth was less than four hours, and I used gas & air (entonox) as pain relief. My daughter...

All the worry I'm facing at the moment about gestational diabetes, all the complications associated with that, have really taken up most of my thinking lately. I've been reading about it voraciously, too. And what I've been finding has been extremely helpful in bringing me back from the brink of panic, where I was last week. I'm grateful I had the glucose tolerance test that discovered my gestational diabetes. Because of it, I've been  very  careful about my diet in the weeks since. Gestational diabetes can cause complications because: the baby can grow too large sugar spikes in the mother can 'age' the placenta prematurely, causing it to deteriorate in function towards the end of pregnancy the baby can be born with too much insulin (as he/she was having to compensate for mother's sugar highs) Well, in my case - I know baby's perfectly sized because of weekly ultrasounds Baby's amniotic fluid is perfectly adequate too, not too muc...

As I sit here writing this, my belly is moving on its own. I'm getting kicked in the ribs. At 36 weeks, this bump has acquired a distinct life of its own. And like the life inside, I have changed and matured a lot in the last 36 weeks. I've never wanted to be a mother. When we got married, I agreed to be open to the possibility; and when I became pregnant, I knew how much I would need my heart to change over the months it would take to grow this baby.  And yes , it's happened - is still happening! So am I ready to be someone's mother for the rest of my life? Uh, that's way, way too big a question to contemplate! What I know is that I am a mother already. I haven't met my child, but he/she is real and alive and I am his/her mother.  And yes , I do love this child! Which is why I am terrified, utterly terrified to the point of crying every time I think of it, that he or she could possibly not be OK. I have gestational diabetes, which I control with a str...